I used to be. Like cool cool. Not sure if I ever was super-cool. But cool as a minimum. You know, bouncers knew who I was when I was 14.
I knew how to proper smile on pictures. I usually was on them with loads of women. They were friends ,but hey oh, people didn't know and they thought I was cool.
I was ruling on Twitter. Got shit loads of followers. People knew of my legendary Tshirts and some thought I was cooly funny. Funny like bright. People talked about me, well or bad, doesn't matter, I was on the spot of the coolness.
But now I don't even have a selfie face. Every time I try to smile for a picture there is either food in my teeth or I am blinking. I'm not even on Instagram for God's sake! And I don't understand accronyms teens use! I used to know them all, I was creating trends to get people to use them, because I was cool!
But now I also get annoyed when I see kids throwing their rubbish to the floor. Being on a nice restaurant with good live music on and people chatting does my heading. But I do like spinners; they 're not cool anymore I've been told by people that know about cool stuff. Am I getting old?
I have realised I walk down the street and nobody recognises me. I feel like people feel. I feel I am people now. You know when you see people on Facebook and you think, these guys don't rule, they have never been cool and they never will. That's maybe what people think about me now. Scary.
I dont have a tattoo, maybe that's what I need. And a Vietnamese pig. That would be cool. But I don't want a Vietnamese pig, I want a fucking cat instead. I could not be more uncool.
Cool people' s desires for the New Year are Health, Love, Read more Books...
I just wanna get laid like most people do, but this uncoolness is a freaking liability. And it is so uncool to say it.
